Out of boredom, I cleaned my room today and went through all my stacks of papers that I had thrown in my desk drawers. And I found a lot of weird and awesome things, three of which are picture below : )

A friend made me this during a class we had together. All we ever did during that class was draw things for each other actually. And write notes. I love having blow off classes with my friends.


I don't know what this is or where it came from. It appears to be chords to a song called Aunt Rhody...and it also appears to have been written on a typewriter. I don't know how it got into my room or why it was in my room, it could be music that accidentally got placed into one of my music books I suppose. I actually just found someone playing the song on Youtube...interesting. It's a rather morbid song really...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YBMcdv4RPQ

This is a costume sketch I did a while ago. The woman doesn't have a head...or fingers. I've gotten better at drawing figures since then. The time period for this costume is the early 1900's, in the winter obviously. It was the first costume I ever really made, it was incredibly simple because all I really made was the skirt. Oh and sorry about the random scribbles on the side...I was testing which gray I liked better...


There's really nothing going on with my life to talk about. I'm getting together with my theatre friends sometime next week...but that's the only time I'll have gone out anywhere in a while. I like staying at home and sleeping. There was one thing that made me very happy today...it rained! Which is a very good things for people like me who unfortunately live in Texas and hate hot weather. When it rains, it gets cooler outside.

What? No, of course I didn't just wake up from sleeping for 13 hours o.O

This is why I love http://postsecret.blogspot.com

It the sort of thing that makes you go "Aww" because it's both cute and really upsetting. We've all got those things though y'know. There's always that one thing that will keep you from giving up, no matter how screwed up things are. My thing is technical theatre. I'd miss hearing the crowd applaud for something I lost sleep over. And honestly, if I knew anyone who was considering suicide right now, I would hope a reminder of how epic the seventh Harry Potter movies will be would persuade them to hold on at least a little longer.

I really wish I knew who sent this secret, I would want to be their new best friend.

And I really hope J.K. Rowling will see this.

I'm knitting a scarf. I messed up on counting the rows in that first blue block so it's a bit smaller but no one will notice because they'll be looking at the cool fringe. I love knitting, I wish I could knit mittens though because my fingers are freezing right now.

I'm watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire right now. It's always been my favorite Harry Potter movie : )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpOdAfs8jr0

This is a great song by a band I'm going to be seeing in August : )

It's generally a bad thing when you haven't slept in two days, right?
The strange thing is that I'm not tired.
I've also bitten my fingernails down to the quick.
Generally insomnia and nail biting is a sign I'm stressed...but I'm not.
I have nothing to be worried or anxious about.
Maybe my mind is keeping secrets from me?

(This isn't important but I just realized that I never had problems with insomnia until I started high school. I don't care what anyone says, I believe that the majority of teenage insomnia is caused by stress related to school. I mean we have so much homework and then we have extracurriculars. I could probably be on a regular sleeping schedule if it weren't for theatre but then what the hell do I put on my college application? They'd just assume I was lazy and got all those As from sitting on my ass since I had nothing to be involved in. And Summer is hardly a break from it all, we have to worriedly await our results from AP testing while doing our Summer reading that we will be tested on in the first week of school. And unless your friends are in your classes, you'll only really see them a few times a year. I'm suprised I've even gotten this far without having a nervous breakdown.) Haha. So maybe I've been more stressed than I thought. Didn't even realize it.

I honestly have no idea why I post so many blogs. I'm fairly certain you're the only person who ever reads my posts Tim. Which is in no way a bad thing, I love that you take time to read my boring posts, I just know you don't check them often so I feel bad for posting like three in a day and giving you more to read. It's a little past five right now...I think I'm going to start writing a short story. I'm going to make it my goal to finish a short story by the end of summer since I generally seem to give up on my stories. Suggestions would be awesome...I always seem to get stuck in the middle so maybe some help would be good for me.

I happen to be quite obsessed with Harry Potter at the moment since the new movie is about to come out and well...I'm really excited. So if you know what that picture is, you're awesome, and you should know what it has to do with Harry Potter. If you don't know what it is, shame on you. It's the flying car that gets attacked by the whomping willow. I saw it in L.A. last summer when I went on a tour of Warner Brothers Studios. Cool, right? (I also discovered Pinkberry and saw a man running down the streets in scrubs, hitting a ball while on this trip. It was an exciting week.)

I'm getting really tired of Texas weather. It's almost 10pm and the temperature is 90 outside. During the day it was around 103 for most of the day. And this is why I need to move far away when I go to college. Okay well weather isn't my only reason but it's definitely a contributing factor. I don't know why my parents used to tell me I'd get used to the weather...this kind of heat is something you just can't get used to. I just looked up the weather forecast for Tripoli, Libya which is located in the Sahara Desert region of North Africa, and all this week the weather is predicted to be around the same temperature as it will be in Texas.

Strangely, while I'm complaining how hot it is, I've begun knitting a scarf today. I knit slowly so it won't be finished until Fall, I just found it funny that I was sweating and knitting something that would make me warmer.

I've got to go watch Harry Potter weekend on ABC Family now. Bye.

That's Santa Monica Pier. I don't have much to say, I just really love that picture. I spent the day with my cousin and sister in Santa Monica during Spring Break and it was really fun. I love California, because no matter what city we go to, we always seem to have family close by. And of course there's the beaches. I don't really like the beaches in Santa Monica though, I like to go to the beach when I visit my grandparents in Northern California. It's cloudy and cool a lot of the time where they live but I just like sitting on the beach. There's one place where you have to climb over all these sand dunes to get to the actual ocean, but there aren't many people there and there's lots of driftwood that you can sit on. I once buried my little cousin's legs in the sand at that beach, then me and my best friend at the time made her look like she had a mermaid tail.

The reason I only like to sit on beaches is because I'm afraid to swim in them.

In case you were wondering.

Which is why colder beaches are perfectly fine with me.

I took this picture last summer I think. We went to New Orleans and decided to visit this gorgeous old plantation while we were there. How amazing would it have been to walk out onto your balcony and see this every morning? Could you ever wake up angry? It's just one of those sights that makes you feel good. I say screw the red carpet...have celebrities walk down this. Speaking of celebrities, I actually saw Nicholas Cage while visiting this plantation. He was in Louisiana for work I suppose and took a day to go see this with his family. I don't see why you wouldn't take a day off to see this. I don't remember anything about that day, except for this. For some reason I remember every vivid detail of that plantation. The Oak Alley Plantation.

Anyways...The subject of this post was going to be something that actually mattered, but now I think I'm just going to ramble about the things I've been thinking about.

Is anyone else really excited for the new Harry Potter movie? This probably isn't all that suprising, but...I'm a huge Harry Potter nerd. I've been to all the midnight book release parties at Barnes & Noble. And I most definitely have Wizard Rock music on my iPod. I remember when the books first came out...I was definitely old enough to read them on my own, but my brother had a harder time reading than I did, so our entire family would sit in the living room before bed and my dad would read them aloud to us. If he stopped somewhere really good, I would take the book when no one was looking and read ahead : ) Go Hufflepuffs!

This is completely unrelated to Harry Potter, but I was looking up a band member's biography to find out his age and something in his biography made me really pissed. I don't like them any less now, but if someone gets a full scholarship but drops out after only one semester to be in band, well that just frustrating. At least it is to me. I understand that a career like that can't always be put on hold so you have to take the chance when you have it, but really? A full scholarship and then he drops out? I would kill for a full scholarship...to anywhere. I'll be lucky if I can afford one year of college, and that's if I factor in small scholarships. Is it really that hard to go to college and play music at the same time? I mean what do they do if the band breaks up? What if their music becomes unpopular? What if things don't work out according to plan? There's no safety net.

I think I'm going to get a few hours of sleep now. Finally going to sleep at 9am seems perfectly normal to me...which probably isn't a good thing.
Oh, and two things that made me smile this morning: daffodils and this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTk5dRytUI8

There's No Place Like Home.

I'm so happy to be home!
I never actually thought I would find my town to be exciting.
I had fun though, despite Nebraska's lack of civilization.

We spent all of Sunday driving there, so I slept most of the time.

Monday, we didn't do much but there was a meeting for all the main stage shows that were performing that we went to.

Tuesday was pretty fun, we walked around the town. The bad part of Tuesday was watching a horrible attempt at the musical Beauty and the Beast. I can't even begin to describe how embarrassed I was for the technicians running that show. I'll rant about it some other time but let me just say this, if you're a techie and you're moving something off stage...don't wear fucking white shoes with your all black outfit!!!

Wednesday was the day we did our two performances. I was incredibly tired and really nervous for our shows but we made very few mistakes and none of our techies wore white shoes. I'm really sad it's over actually. I came to be a part of that show out of pure luck actually and I didn't really work on it all that much but it's still something I really loved and I'm going to miss it. I got along with all the people on crew and the actors have an insane amount of talent...it's just sad that it's over now.

On Thursday I got up in the morning and went to see another show that made me want to strangle someone. Then I went to lunch with my friends, went to some classes, and hung out in our hotel room. That night we actually saw a really great play called The Boys Next Door, it was about four mentally challenged boys and their caretaker. It made me want to cry actually, it was really amazing and the actors did a great job.

In the morning on Friday we saw the sweetest play called Almost, Maine. It was just a bunch of stories about couples and it was so adorable! Then we walked around town, went to a couple workshops and then instead of going to a show that night, our theatre director paid for us all to go see Transformers. It was pretty awesome, except that Megan Fox's looks don't seem to be affected by battling Decepticons. Her hair is always perfect apparently.

Saturday was fairly uneventful. We saw the Individual Events winners perform in the morning. We walked around most of the day. That night, we snuck into the larger theatre to see The Wedding Singer when we were supposed to be seeing All Shook Up. Then we snuck out. It was incredibly disappointing, for both techies and actors. Then I went to the hotel, packed and fell asleep.

Then Sunday, we drove home.

I don't remember which day it was, but one night someone decided to pull the fire alarm in our hotel when the hotel was not on fire. I was not amused.

That was about it. It was a fun week and I really got to know the people I work with a lot better, which is always a good thing. I'm generally not a talkative person so it was good for me to socialize with people. I think, hopefully, I made some new friends and got to really know the ones I already had.

These Soles Are Useless Without You

I hate getting up early and having nothing to do.
And my house smells like bacon. Which isn't very nice.
Unfortunately I'm stuck at home until 3 today because I was the last in my family to have plans...
Which means I'm the lucky person who gets to open the door for the person who is going to clean our carpets.
Yay :/
It's not that bad though, because at 3 my friend is coming to rescue me and I will wear my new clothes that I got yesterday and attempt to help her make a dress or something of the sort. (I'm not too clear on the plans...)
Until then...I'll probably clean my room.
Or throw everything onto my bed and go watch youtube videos.
The second choice sounds a lot more likely.

I'm Scared.

It's four in the morning and I just woke up from an incredibly disturbing nightmare.
It involved Joe Jonas, Single Ladies, and a pair of black heels.

The video of Joe Jonas doing the Single Ladies dance has seriously scarred me.
After viewing it, I truly considered gouging my own eyeballs out.
I felt ashamed to live within 100 miles of a person that could cause that sort of grotesque image.
I mean, trust me, I felt ashamed to be near him before this video but now it's insanely worse.
Did he not consider the psychological damage that such a video could cause to the young minds that, for some strange reason, idolize him?
Yet somehow, the video has 5 million + views.
The only explanation for this is that, this video, is one of those rare disgusting things that you just can't look away from.
Even as I write this, I find myself replaying the video in horror.
Joe Jonas has terrified me, yet intrigued me at the same time.
I despise the Jonas Brothers, but let me just say, what Joe did was a smart career move.
Whether young girls are scarred by it or gushing over it, they WILL pass the video on to ALL of their friends.

I'm warning you, watch this at your own risk.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP-KFnYg6Hw

Music

Today I was watching this show, and it really bothered me.
It's not unusual to have music in the background sometimes during a show...
But throughout this show, it seemed like anytime there was a scene with this one specific character, they played Soulmate by Natasha Bedingfield.
It was incredibly annoying.
Not because I dislike the song, but playing it everytime just made it sound like the man had Natasha Bedingfield stalking him.

That's all...it just bothered me. There's a point when background music becomes stupid.

Nevermind.

Fuck it.
I give up.
Everytime I think things are going to start being easier on me, they just get worse.
I'm done for now.
I'll start caring about shit again on June 19th.
Until then, I'll just always hope for the worst.
That way, things can only get better.

Sorry.
I know I complain a lot about being stressed, I am very stressed but I really don't hate it. I like being busy, it gives me something to do. The reason I'm complaining is because it's just been harder lately, I'm used to stressing over one specific thing and right now it's everything and I haven't slept in a couple days and...there's just a lot going on. It could be worse, so I shouldn't complain, it's not like I'm dying or ill. Again, sorry I complain so much and will probably continue to complain for a couple weeks.

Well...now it's almost 6 on Saturday and instead of sleeping in I have to be at my school at 9. Fun :/

RENT

I <3 Anthony Rapp. That is all.

The Way I Am

The real and complete truth is this.
-My name is Emily
-I like to know dead people's last words
-I like school
-I'm 16 years old
-Books are incredible and I never leave the house without one
-I hate my brother sometimes...even though I know it's not always his fault he does annoying things...
-I don't actually hate all rap songs
-The first concert I ever went to was, and I hate to admit this, a Hilary Duff concert (The second was Avril Lavigne. I had a bad taste in music...It got better though, the third was The Killers.)
-I've had the same English teacher for two years and I still get nervous about emailing her
-If I weren't in the classes I'm in, I probably wouldn't have the friends I have.
-I would rather spend time with my cat than I woud with my mom
-School is the best getaway ever
-I've only had one detention ever but I've gotten out of plenty by lying to my attendence clerk...
-My geometry teacher is the worst teacher I've ever had but he's too nice to be fired
-I don't know why I'm saying random facts but I am and I'm not gonna stop...
-I have horrible teeth and skin. I do happen to have great hair though...
-My friends constantly joke that I'm albino, because honestly, I'm close (I can't tan, at all. I just burn. Just too white and nerdy :D)
-I wanna roll with the gangstas (Kidding. It has to do with the white and nerdy thing...just try ignore my attempts at humor.)
-Cole is awesome
-My back hurts alot (Wow...that makes me sound old. But I carry a lot of stuff around school everyday. It starts to kill your back.)
-My mom would kill me if she knew I cussed at school.
-My friend and I once joked about my mom dying in a store and the clerk heard us (That has a story behind it...I love my mom and DON'T want her to die. I promise. We just have a horribly morbid sense of humor I suppose. Death seems to be our solution for everything...but it's ALWAYS in a JOKING manner.)
-I'm going to stop now before I say something else about someone dying or something really lame and not funny.
-Why am I still doing these dashes?
-Goodbye?